We're Not All Sexual
But there seems to be a tendency to assume either that disabled people in general (or in certain categories) have nothing in common with normal people, or to assume we're not really different from normal people - or only in superficial ways. In terms of disability and sexuality, this comes off as either assuming all disabled people are asexual, or assuming all disabled people are just as sexual as anyone else.
The latter assumption is what I see many disability rights activists expressing, when they talk about sexuality. They discuss sexuality as something universal to all human beings, including disabled people. Some acknowledge sexual differences such as being gay, but they still say that everyone has sexual feelings.
Well, not everyone does. Certain disabilities, such as intersexing conditions and autism, are associated with asexuality. Not every autistic or intersexed person is asexual, but a certain number of us are. We exist, even if your claims that all humans are sexual deny our existence.
It's especially bad when sex education materials do this. As a pre-teen, I got sex education that denied any sexual differences - even homosexuality - and left me confusing nonsexual liking for sexual attraction because I didn't realize it was possible for me not to have crushes on boys. I don't really blame my school for not telling kids about asexuality, because it's so rare, they probably didn't know about it. But there are sex education books out there for autistic kids that also suggest that everyone has sexual desires starting in puberty - and asexual people are not rare among autistics, especially autistic girls. There are also some autistics who develop their sexuality later than usual, typically in their twenties, and therefore are asexual as teens but not as adults. I'd estimate that at least a third of autistic teens will have no or very little desire for sex. A third of your intended audience is a lot of people to ignore.
And I think a big part of this is the idea that saying disabled people - any disabled people - are asexual has been portrayed as a nasty stereotype. Somehow, even acknowledging that we exist, that we aren't interested in that sort of thing, seems to be taken as denying that we're real people with emotions. Well, no, asexual people are not emotionless. We're not incapable of love, because love does not just mean sexual attraction. It's possible to love a close friend, a parent, a child, or a sibling. And that love is just as real, and can be just as passionate, as sexual love.
I don't think it's a bad thing at all to be asexual. In fact, I'm glad I am - it seems to save me from a lot of angst, since I'm not constantly looking for Mr Right. I just wish there wasn't this idea that sexuality is fundamental to every person. Our society is obsessed with sexuality, but we're disability rights activists, we're supposed to challenge society's assumptions.