My Changing Life
I feel bad about not posting here as often as I used to. I know when this happened - it was when I started university. Such a good thing for me, but it's really cut into my time. Most of my 'facts and opinions' writing urges get expressed through essay assignments, and I don't get as much time for recreation as I used to, either.
But it's not just that. My focus has shifted. I don't feel the urge to jump into advocacy so often lately. Partly, it's that I'm more interested in fiction now - I've been hanging out a lot at TVTropes, and working on my stories. If something fires me up lately, I'm more likely to think up a story about it than a blog entry.
It's also that I'm seeing it less black and white. Rather than wanting to proclaim my own opinion, I've been wanting to understand the opposing views more. This is valuable, since better understanding will help me figure out how to reach those people, and show them what I see. And it enters into my writing, too, as the opponents in my stories get less one-dimensional, more complex and real. If I understand them, I can write them. I can put them in my worlds, and show the impact of their words and actions.
And most of my stories don't have a good guy and a bad guy. Just people with differing goals, needs, perceptions and desires, who come into conflict naturally because of how they differ. I don't always show the way to peace, either - sometimes, there is no way to peace. Not all stories end happily. I just try to paint the interactions, and use that to communicate my message.
My own life has become more important, too. It used to be that I didn't really care that much what happened to me when I got into advocacy. But now, I have classes to do well in, a career to aim for, a way to change things hands on, instead of just pontificating about them. And I have friends, who support me, teach me and admire me. The internet isn't so central to my life now, my self-expression now has many routes.
I may seldom blog, or I may stop entirely. But I will keep true to myself, and to my goal of making the world a better place. I plan on doing research that will help many people, asking questions about how it feels to be disabled in our society. How does an autistic child feel when his/her parent rattles off the child's impairments to a stranger? How are that parent's attitudes communicated to the child? Do nonverbal children notice and care if someone talks to them as if they were toddlers, and how do they express their reactions? What impact does abuse have on a person who is also the target of discrimination, and who naturally interprets information differently? Is FAS really the cause of serious behavior problems, or are those the result of the pain and loss these kids often suffer? Questions like these can be answered by research, and the answers are important to disability rights issues. So I will ask them, and I will find the answers.
But it's not just that. My focus has shifted. I don't feel the urge to jump into advocacy so often lately. Partly, it's that I'm more interested in fiction now - I've been hanging out a lot at TVTropes, and working on my stories. If something fires me up lately, I'm more likely to think up a story about it than a blog entry.
It's also that I'm seeing it less black and white. Rather than wanting to proclaim my own opinion, I've been wanting to understand the opposing views more. This is valuable, since better understanding will help me figure out how to reach those people, and show them what I see. And it enters into my writing, too, as the opponents in my stories get less one-dimensional, more complex and real. If I understand them, I can write them. I can put them in my worlds, and show the impact of their words and actions.
And most of my stories don't have a good guy and a bad guy. Just people with differing goals, needs, perceptions and desires, who come into conflict naturally because of how they differ. I don't always show the way to peace, either - sometimes, there is no way to peace. Not all stories end happily. I just try to paint the interactions, and use that to communicate my message.
My own life has become more important, too. It used to be that I didn't really care that much what happened to me when I got into advocacy. But now, I have classes to do well in, a career to aim for, a way to change things hands on, instead of just pontificating about them. And I have friends, who support me, teach me and admire me. The internet isn't so central to my life now, my self-expression now has many routes.
I may seldom blog, or I may stop entirely. But I will keep true to myself, and to my goal of making the world a better place. I plan on doing research that will help many people, asking questions about how it feels to be disabled in our society. How does an autistic child feel when his/her parent rattles off the child's impairments to a stranger? How are that parent's attitudes communicated to the child? Do nonverbal children notice and care if someone talks to them as if they were toddlers, and how do they express their reactions? What impact does abuse have on a person who is also the target of discrimination, and who naturally interprets information differently? Is FAS really the cause of serious behavior problems, or are those the result of the pain and loss these kids often suffer? Questions like these can be answered by research, and the answers are important to disability rights issues. So I will ask them, and I will find the answers.
posted by Ettina at 3:48 PM
3 Comments:
It's been interesting to read of the changes you have spoken of.
Stories are a great way to work things out, as well as have fun. I'll keep an eye out for you on the Tropes. They are great fun! I especially enjoyed reading your "Stages of a Breakdown".
My stories don't generally have good guys and bad guys, which is as well, because most of my villains are probably more comic than anything else.
Love the questions at the end. I have personal and professional experience of some of them.
Thank you for Abnormal Diversity and the past four years, and all best wishes (again) for your now and your future.
And I would investigate the "pain and loss" route. I have just learnt that the corpus callosum is affected in foetal alcohol syndrome. As the woman explained it, the rules are kept in the left side of the brain, and the impulses in the right. As you might know, the corpus callosum has some big connections.
"Just people with differing goals, needs, perceptions and desires, who come into conflict naturally because of how they differ. I don't always show the way to peace, either - sometimes, there is no way to peace. Not all stories end happily. I just try to paint the interactions, and use that to communicate my message."
and this:
"It's also that I'm seeing it less black and white. Rather than wanting to proclaim my own opinion, I've been wanting to understand the opposing views more. This is valuable, since better understanding will help me figure out how to reach those people, and show them what I see. And it enters into my writing, too, as the opponents in my stories get less one-dimensional, more complex and real. If I understand them, I can write them. I can put them in my worlds, and show the impact of their words and actions."
"As the woman explained it, the rules are kept in the left side of the brain, and the impulses in the right."
That's actually complete nonsense. There is no hemispheric divide in impulses and rules - rule-based decisions are governed by both frontal lobes, and impulses probably come from the limbic system (which isn't part of the cortex, and therefore doesn't use the corpus callosum). FAS individuals do have frontal lobe abnormalities, which is why they tend to be impulsive and have poor planning.
Impulsivity, however, isn't sufficient to explain more serious kinds of misbehavior, however. For example, Serena Nicotine, who has FASD, has been convicted of brutal assaults and at least one murder (she was in the news where I live awhile back). Most people don't have strong enough impulses to kill a person to ever act on it, even if they had no impulse control whatsoever. That's where I think trauma and attachment issues would come in - and Serena Nicotine was severely abused as a child.
Thank you, Ettina, for pointing out there is no simple hemispheric divide, such as often appears in the more popular reports. And about the limbic system.
Look under the last two paragraphs of "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome", in a camp report by Terri Mauro, written in 2003. It was written for the counsellors. This is the piece I had had in mind when I asked the question/made my statement.
Of course, it being an opinion didn't make it true!
And there is another historical sample/research which I would have liked to have shown you.
History of the Trail, which goes back into ancient times.
I don't know how reliable or valid many of these studies are, but many can be checked in the university library.
(As a matter of fact, I flicked through Elizabeth Russell's [2005] book: Alcohol: a mother's responsible disturbance).
Jodee Kulp and others are also organising for 2010's FAS Day on the 9th September.
As for the Serena Nicotine point: did a little bit of reading. Yes, it was a very significant case. She wasn't able to maintain in open-custody (the group home), was she? And that was about 1999-2000. (No, actually, it was in 1997).
Here is the second article which was referred to on Google.
One of the top articles made the point I mistakenly made.
A very current and future book is by Mary Greene. Watch out for it.
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