Compliment Catch
My family members and I all struggle with self-esteem. All of us have been depressed at some point in our lives. Three out of us have been victims of child sexual abuse, and the fourth has been bullied in school. One of us has a diagnosed neurodevelopmental disability and the other three all have features suggesting similar conditions, and we've all been exposed to prejudice as a result.
So, recently, we thought up a game called 'Compliment Catch'.
The rules are simple - one person gives another a compliment, and then the complimented person gives a compliment back. Then another person gives a compliment, and so on and so forth.
I figure I should post this here in case another family might benefit from playing this game as well. It's especially great for people who have many positive qualities but tend not to see these qualities themselves.
(Incidentally, my brother's compliments to me made me realize something. Whenever he tells me how much I've helped him, specifically, that gives me a special feeling. The help I've given to people outside my family, I can explain it away when I'm in a low mood. But what I've done for my brother, for some reason, I can't explain it away.)
So, recently, we thought up a game called 'Compliment Catch'.
The rules are simple - one person gives another a compliment, and then the complimented person gives a compliment back. Then another person gives a compliment, and so on and so forth.
I figure I should post this here in case another family might benefit from playing this game as well. It's especially great for people who have many positive qualities but tend not to see these qualities themselves.
(Incidentally, my brother's compliments to me made me realize something. Whenever he tells me how much I've helped him, specifically, that gives me a special feeling. The help I've given to people outside my family, I can explain it away when I'm in a low mood. But what I've done for my brother, for some reason, I can't explain it away.)
posted by Ettina at 6:22 AM
1 Comments:
Many people have difficulty accepting a compliment. "Explaining it away", minimizing the quality or effort, it can be hard not to do. Maybe there's akind of vulnerability to just accepting the compliment, saying "thanks" and moving on.
BTW, I've found your discussion of "secure attatchemnt" quite helpful applied more generally to all kinds of situations. Thanks!
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