We Have Got to Stop Apologizing

I've seen this over and over.

Ace/aro-spec spectrum person says "this is who I am".

Aphobe replies: "stop claiming you're oppressed!"

Ace/aro-spec person replies: "I'm not claiming I'm oppressed!"

Aphobe replies: [the exact same freaking thing as before]

Also this:

Ace/aro-spec spectrum person says "this is who I am".

Aphobe replies: "you're just trying to be special!"

Ace/aro-spec person replies: "I'm not trying to be special"

Aphobe replies: [the exact same freaking thing as before]

And this:

Ace/aro-spec spectrum person says "this is who I am".

Aphobe replies: "stop claiming you're better than us!"

Ace/aro-spec person replies: "I'm not claiming I'm better than anyone!"

Aphobe replies: [the exact same freaking thing as before]

And of course this:

Ace/aro-spec person says: "the difference between ace/aro people and [insert term for people who are not on the ace/aro spectrum] is..."

Aphobe replies: "You're oppressing me by applying a label to this characteristic I have!"

Ace/aro-spec person asks: "OK, what term would you prefer?

Aphobe replies: "Just shut up, you privileged cishet!" [Note: it literally doesn't matter if the aro/ace person has any het identity, or even if they have an LGBT identity, we're all targets]

This has to stop. We have to stop apologizing to aphobes for our voices and our existence. Transphobes don't get to ban the term cisgender, or police what gender identities are worthy of discussion, much as they'd like to.

The list of terms for non-asexual people out there is truly ridiculous, and it's because aphobes couldn't accept us using any word at all for that concept. Terms like lithsexual get attacked for being appropriative, because apparently if you invent a concept you get to own it forevermore. Even the freaking moon is apparently owned by aphobes already!

We are oppressed. Everyone who attacks us for claiming oppression only proves our point. So stop apologizing to our oppressors. They will never let up. Fight back, and we can win our place in society. It won't be easy, but it's a lot easier than lying down.

[Note: I wrote this because it was burning in my mind, before checking today's prompt for aro-spec awareness week. But it fits:

Write about some of the complications you’ve come across as identifiying or existing on the aromantic spectrum. You can include ways you’ve worked out problems that occur, or things you might still be struggling- it’s all up to you. Feel free to give advice to other people participating if you have any, as long as it’s okay with that tumblr user!]