Comparing You to Your Oppressors

I was told once that comparing a trans aphobe to TERFs (based on their similar gatekeeping arguments focused around 'safe spaces' and their claims that oppressors want to infiltrate 'safe spaces' by claiming a related identity) was transphobic.

Personally, I don't think so. But I'm not trans. How would I feel if a similar comparison was made involving an identity I experience?

Well, if I ever start:

• claiming that being a parent of a member of a minority group gives me more authority to speak about that group than actual members of that minority,
• asking members of an oppressed minority to offer me 'proof' that they really are part of that group before I'll listen to their arguments, and refusing to believe said proof if it is offered,
• claiming that my child is 'more' of a member of that minority than the members of that minority group that disagree with me, and using their disagreement alone as evidence,
• claiming that I love my child but hate a core aspect of their identity,
• claiming that my child has ruined my life because of something they can't control,
• claiming that it's a loving act to put my child through dangerous and/or abusive 'treatments' to change a core aspect of their identity
• pretending that I can read my child's mind, while adamantly insisting that my child's thoughts are really not very complex
• and so forth,

then go ahead and compare me to a curebie! It's not ableist to say that I'm acting like a curebie if I start pulling those kinds of arguments out!

And similarly, if you start gatekeeping who belongs in an oppressed category based on the argument that the majority wants to infiltrate your 'safe spaces' by pretending to be oppressed, then you are acting like a TERF, and it's warranted to call you out on that.