Progressive Coercion

There's a pattern I've noticed recently. People, especially parents or service providers, decide that a certain way of treating disabled people is wrong. They speak out about it. And generally that's a good thing. But then it somehow turns into yet another set of rules of behavior that disabled people are coerced into, even if they resist it.
An example: Awhile ago, some people started saying that treating developmentally disabled people, especially adolescents and adults, as if they're much younger than they are (in aspects that aren't necessary for proper care - ie not including things like changing diapers) is not a good thing. Many developmentally disabled people would agree with this. But somehow, for many service providers and parents, they interpreted this to mean that developmentally disabled people should not be allowed to act in ways considered typical of a much younger child. This led to things such as actively trying to discourage adolescents and adults from playing with dolls or other 'immature' interests and play. And that, like pressuring them to act younger, is oppressive.
Another example: David Hingsburger, in his video The Ethics of Touch, said you shouldn't go around hugging developmentally disabled people that you work with. Which I agree with. But then, in reply to a question about the developmentally disabled people who often initiate hugs, he described a method for training them out of that. Because somehow, they're not allowed to want touch beyond what most people their age do. (My policy is to go by mutual comfort. If they seem to want the touch, and I'm okay with it, then it's fine. This means they either expressly consent to the touch or initiate it. For example, I hug back if they hug me, and sometimes I ask children if I can pick them up and twirl them around.)
The biggest problem with this pattern, in my opinion, is that the focus is still on how the disabled person should behave, what the disabled person should do. And it's still being dictated by nondisabled people. They challenge some specific problem, while ignoring the power dynamic of helper and helped, the controlling others 'for their own good' rather than letting them have freewill and choice. The power dynamic, and the focus on the disabled person as the problem, remains unchanged, meanwhile they get to act like they're all progressive and liberal and helping the cause of disability rights.

8 Random Things About Myself

David Hingsburger was tagged for this thing - 8 random things about yourself. You're supposed to post the rules, which are to let people know who tagged you, say the 8 random things about yourself and tag 8 people and let them know they've been tagged. He modified the rules so that anyone who reads his blog can tag themselves if they want (and post a link to their blog). So I tagged myself. Same modified rule applies here, so tag yourself if you want to.
1. Whereas many survivors of sexual abuse have trouble saying 'no' to things, I have trouble saying 'yes' (only when I'm having flashbacks). I feel like by saying 'yes', I'm giving away my power and giving other people permission to hurt me.
2. I suggested people read First Contact by David Hingsburger on this one CBC call-in for people to suggest summer reading.
3. I absolutely hate jeans, and never wear them. Once I had a big fight with my Mom because the only pair of pants I had to wear was a pair of jeans. Incidentally, I will aklso 'hide' articles of clothing I can't wear so they aren't counted as clothes in my dresser.
4. I used to sneak entire handfuls of icing sugar. I'd grab a handful and lick it all off my hand, then wash my hands. My parents never realized until I admitted, several years later, that I used to do this.
5. My principal suggested I was an aspie when I was in grade 7. My father described Asperger Syndrome to me and I replied that I didn't believe there was such a condition - if there was, I'd have it! It was pretty ironic when, several years later, I read accounts by autistic people on the internet and started recognizing myself in their descriptions.
6. I like to read articles in medical journals. I have read almost every American Journal of Medical Genetics volume our local university has - volumes 32 to about 86 or so. I may have missed some of them, however.
7. I'm currently working on more than 10 different books, most of them fiction. I'm working on two nonfiction books, one about autism and an almost-finished one about school trauma.
8. I used to be fluent in French because I attended two french immersion schools, but after I left school I stopped speaking French and now I can understand it fairly well but have difficulty speaking it. I'm thinking of looking into some way to get more positive associations with French and relearn it.